


If We Are Wise

by amageish



Series: Danganronpa x DDLC Hurt/Comfort [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Past Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Tsumiki Mikan Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amageish/pseuds/amageish
Summary: Mahiru and Natsuki set two of their friends up on a blind date. They hit it off immediately, in spite of their insecurities.Chapter 1 is Mikan-focused and contains incredibly low self-esteem with a lot of thought spirals. Chapter 2 will be Yuri-focused and contain references to self-harm.
Relationships: Tsumiki Mikan/Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Series: Danganronpa x DDLC Hurt/Comfort [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941061
Kudos: 16





	1. Potrait of Mikan

**Author's Note:**

> CW: So many thought-spirals, depression, implied/referenced past abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, and the general self-esteem issues that are synonymous with Mikan as a character.

_ I’m going to be late. _

_ I’m going to be late. She’ll have left already. She’ll have left and told her friends that their date was a failure before it even began. _

_ Mahiru will hate me. Hiyoko will mock me. They set me up on this blind date, so they will be the first to disown me over this. They were probably just trying to get rid of me anyway.  
_

_ Actually, that’s probably the point of this date. It’s not a blind date. It’s a joke.This is all just a prank. A prank on gullible Mikan.  
_

_ Maybe an assassination? _

“Hello Ma’am. Do you have a reservation?”

“N-no! Er, y-yes. I mean, my f-friend has one for me. It’s u-under Koizumi?”

The waitress looked down at her notes and then up at the terrified-looking nurse with a raised eyebrow. “Koizumi? Her reservation isn’t for another hour.”

_ I could have been late. I don’t know what time zone this mysterious date is operating in. Maybe she has jet lag. Maybe she came two hours earlier and has already already given up on me… I should really just go home and apologize to Mahiru... _

“That’s r-right! I’ll just wait outside…”

_ Outside will be nice… Fresh air is good for the body! I can spend or an hour so pacing… Get my nerves out before the date. _

…

Mikan paced back and forth for an hour. She only tripped 4 times.

The fourth time she fell into someone.

“I’m so s-sorry! Please feel free to b-beat em until you feel better. I have a d-date in a few minutes, but I’m s-sure it can be pushed back as punishment is n-needed.”

The purple-haired girl she had sent tumbling onto the ground stared at her, confused. She rubbed her arms, groaning slightly in pain, before simply saying “Pardon me?”.

“I said I’m sorry! You can strangle me until you feel better.”

“That’s n-not necessary.” The girl stood up, blushing wildly, and offered Mikan her hand. “You said you were here on a date?”

Mikan nodded, not accepting the outstretched hand. 

_ It looks like she’s trying to help me up, but she may be trying to strike me. Better not make any assumptions. _

“Well,” the purple-headed woman said, pulling her hand back to play with her hair while bashfully looking away, “I am too. Are you Mahiru’s friend?”

“Yes,” Mikan said. “I’m so s-sorry you are being forced to spend an evening with me. Would you be willing to let me know your name? N-not that I need to of course; I’m happy to c-call you whatever you’re most comfortable with!”

The purple-haired woman stared into the distance again. 

_ Her eyebrows are so focused. She’s probably evaluating me. She can’t even look me in the eye… clearly she’s ashamed to even be near me… I’m not worthy of her. _

“Of course you can have my name?” Yuri said, visually confused and contemplative. “We’re going on a date; there is no reason for me to hide anything - well, at least my name - from you. My name is Yuri and I am the Ultimate Literary Critic. Could I have your name?”

Yuri reached her hand out again, this time taking the intuitive by stretching out to grab Mikan’s hand and pulling her onto her feet.

“Yuri… What a nice name…” Mikan muttered. “My name is M-Mikan Tsumiki and I am the Ultimate Nurse.”

Yuri paled. She briefly lost control, pulling Mikan onto her feet so far that she proceeded to fall forward, onto her face.

“I’m s-sorry for whatever I did to deserve that. Thank you f-for the punishment.”

“No!” Yuri gasped and pulled her back up. “I’m sorry for dropping you… It’s just… Ultimate  _ Nurse _ … They wouldn’t have set me up here as a trap would they… They’re nice, usually… But Natsuki can be pretty stubborn… Maybe she figured it out from my poetry and set me up on a blind date as an excuse to get me to talk about...”

Mikan couldn’t hear what Yuri was saying, but could read the concern on her face. She looked a mix of troubled, embarrassed, and deeply nervous.  _ She’s probably just scared I’ll become obsessed with her… Which is fair enough, I barely deserve to panic about the potential of her abandoning me... _

“Is everything al-alright? You can go b-back home if you don’t want to be seen with someone as pathetic as me...”

Yuri looked at Mikan in her eyes. She was crying.

“Everything’s fine. Let’s just… go to dinner.”

…

Yuri and Mikan had a wonderful meal. Well, Mikan apologized for her taste in drinks, her taste in food, and her general existence at least once a minute; however, both realized they had a lot in common. They bonded over shared love of Fukawa's writing and Mikan didn't even judge Yuri for her knife collection. Mahiru and Natsuki were correct; the two did hit it off.

“Well, I used to need to bandage myself a lot as a… c-child, so my talent just kind of g-grew from that. However, I figured that being a n-nurse would be a way to help a l-lot of people and I want to improve the l-lives of others… How about y-you? How’d you b-become the Ultimate Literary Critic anyway?”

“Oh! It wasn’t anything too impressive, really. No lofty goals of helping the world or anything... I just made a lot of book reviews online and it got the attention of the administration…”

“It m-must have been very good r-reviews though! You don’t just get the attention of the a-adminstration of Hope’s Peak every day…”

“I suppose? I just speak my mind. I believe everyone has their own types and interests in literature anyway… My most popular reviews are all of horror novels…”

“Horror? N-not exactly my type, but g-good to know… Feel free to s-scare me for your amusement if I ever feel the urge t-too, I’ve been told I am v-very good at -”

“Mikan?”

“Huh?”

“Can you… stop?” 

Yuri’s voice became crystal clear. The girl hadn’t looked Mikan in the eyes for an extended period all night, but she was now staring into her soul.

“Y-yes, Yuri! I can stop talking if it offends you. I am s-so sorry for -”

“Not exactly what I meant.” Yuri said, sighing and looking down at her plate. “I’ll be honest. When I heard you were the Ultimate Nurse, I was worried that I had been tricked into going on a ‘date’ as a way of dealing with some… challenges… I have.”

“Oh?”

_ This purple-haired goddess has challenges? She’s probably just humoring me. It’s a joke. I asked her to scare me and she’s building up to a jump scare. That’s it… _

“But… I think that was wrong. You’re a lovely person when you start talking about your passions. You have a big heart, Mikan.”

_ She’s setting up the joke. That’s it. She’ll reveal it's all a prank any moment now. _

“But… It hurts to watch you put yourself down constantly. Would you be comfortable discussing the reason for this?”

_ It’ll be a joke. The punchline is incoming. She doesn’t care. I’ll play along and prepare to laugh. _

In spite of her thoughts, Mikan could only read deathly seriousness on Yuri’s face.

“I j-just have found this is the b-best way to get attention… People usually t-take me up on m-my offers - or at least t-they did, before I went to Hope’s Peak…”

“Your friends beat you and bullied you?”

A beat.

“Well... Y-yes. They also d-drew on me! Which you’re a-also welcome to do, by the way.”

“Okay…” Yuri stares forward, clearly deep in thought. “So… I do have one small request of you in that case.”

_ Here it comes. The punchline. I’m ready for it. _

“Y-yes! Truly, anything you desire.”

“When you think want to put yourself, would you be able to try… complimenting yourself? You don’t have to believe the compliments per say, at least at first, but it’d be nice to hear you speak positively about yourself for once… Fake it til you make it?”

_ It’s just a joke. A laugh. She wants me to compliment myself so that she can be the one to insult me. She’ll mock me. Maybe throw a glass of water in my face. I’ll deserve it for thinking so highly of myself. I’ll play along. _

“S-sure! I can d-do that for you Yuri.”

Yuri smiled.  _ Her prank is coming to fruition. She isn’t happy for you. _

She smiled with her eyes too. She wasn’t faking.

“And, if it’s okay with you, then I have a friend who could potentially recommend a therapist for you? I know that’s a lot to take in and commit to right now, but… Um… If you’re open to it… Not that I’d be involved, of course. Not that I don’t want to be involved, but, uh, I think it’d be best if we set a boundary there if we begin dating...”

_ Therapy? Dating? This is a lot to take in… It sounds nice though... _

“I… think I’d like that.”

_ Yuri is very dedicated to this prank. I’ll humor her. Just for a few more hours, maybe a week, maybe a year. Maybe a lifetime, including a wedding and raising 2.7 children. _

…  Six months later …

_ I’m going to be late. _

_ She’ll wait for me though. She always has such patience… _

_ My friends don’t have that patience. They seem happy though. I’m glad I can help make their lives better. _

“Yuri!” Mikan squeals, arriving in the coffee shop 15 minutes late to their date. “I’m so s-sorry I’m late. My session just went a bit over.”

_ You can beat me if you want to… but I know you’d just say no. I also don’t deserve it. Being late is understandable sometimes… I think. Maybe. Ugh, self-talk is a mess. _

“It’s perfectly alright, sweetheart.” Yuri smiled, looking up from her book. “I’ve just been hear reading. I’m proud of you for continuing to go at all.”

“T-thank you.”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

_ Do you? You must. It’s been too long... You can't just be humoring me... Were you ever doing that?  
_

“I… I t-think I do.”


	2. Despairing Racoons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Self-harm and anxiety 
> 
> Mikan finds Yuri in the aftermath of the situation she least wanted to be found in.

_Be strong. I need to be strong for Mikan. Support her._

_And I failed._

Mikan wrapped the bandages tighter around Yuri’s arms. 

“Is that okay? Tight, but not too tight?”

_Three months in our relationship. I failed her._

_I shouldn’t have tried to do it when I knew she was coming over. Stupid._

Yuri looks at her and nods, sadly.

“I’m glad I was here to help you, Yuri. You were bleeding very badly…”

_This is it. Break-up is inevitable._

“Yes… I messed up. I usually know places to avoid, but I was... really out of it. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize!” Mikan shrieked, tearing up. “Honestly, I-I just feel bad for not noticing in the first place… I’m a lousy nurse. I can’t even tell when my own girlfriend has been experiencing the effects of blood loss...”

_And I even am making her cry on the way out._

“You’re not a lousy nurse, Mikan… You’re _literally_ Ultimate at it? You have no base to compare myself to either… I’ve always been doing this since before we met…”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

_There it is. The mask has broken. She knows who I am._

“I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable! Oh god, your face has fallen so much… You’re scared of me now, a-aren’t you? You can draw on me if y-you’d like - give me a moment and I will take off all my cl…” Mikan paused and quietly cried. “Despair! Despair...”

Yuri stiffened, Despair had become their code-phrase for when Mikan was about to start spiraling out of control… though, from how she was talking she had already started…

“No, Mikan!” Yuri moved closer and rested her hand on Mikan’s shoulder. “You’re okay… I’m glad you were able to help me. I just feel embarrassed that you have seen me like this. I try to support you and be strong for yo... I... didn’t want to crush that illusion.”

“Yuri, this doesn’t change my opinion of you at all! I mean, don't get me wrong, as your nurse, I-I would strongly advise you see a therapist and seek medical professional aid, but still!” Mikan sighed, relaxing for a moment. “I’m just… scared of your crestfallen expressions. Don't be scared! Please don’t abandon me.”

_Abandon… her?_

“I don’t want to abandon you Mikan. I just… know you can’t be with someone who does I what I do.”

Mikan stares at Yuri with a sort of breathless passion.

“Yuri. I would sooner break every bone in your hands so that you can never hold a knife again then break up with you over this.”

_Oh._

_Well. That’s descriptive._

_She probably wouldn’t do it._

_Probably._

Mikan paled. “I… didn’t say that aloud, did I?”

“You, um, kind of did.”

“I’m so sorry! I wouldn’t h-hurt you. I just… I am not going to leave you, okay?”

Yuri began to cry as well and pulled Mikan into a hug.

“Thank you, Mikan. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“S-same to you… Could… we have a codeword for you too?”

“Huh?”

“Like… something you can say… in public or private or via text… if we need to discuss your… ongoing challenges? Like my… despairing.”

“Oh. Um. That makes sense.” Yuri said. She took a breath and paused. 

_Well. Only one real option for a phrase exists… I’ll fire the Chekhov’s Gun I had set-up during Club all those weeks ago..._

“Racoon.”

“Racoon? Like… the animal?” Mikan asked, confused.

“Yes. Don’t think about it too hard… Think of it as a… literary reference.”

_Does it really count as literary if I’m referencing my own poetry?_

“Oh! Well, you’re the Literary Critic haha… It works for me. Ooo, we can even communicate it via emoji! I mean, hopefully we won’t have to use it too often, but still.”

Yuri laughed, smiling at Mikan.

“I’m just… so glad to have you in my life.”

In place of a reply, Mikan pulls her into a hug.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the most "obligatory" of the pairings I'm doing here... Parts of this were hard to write, but cathartic in their own way. Let me know what you think!


End file.
